Posts tagged ‘life with a CHD fear life surgery scared worried ‘


Every chance I get, every 11:11, every shooting star, ever birthday candle I get to blow out my wish is this: “Keep Ava happy, “healthy,” and here with us.  I refer to it as the 3 H’s.  Simple wish.  Every. Single. Time.  Because if only one wish in my life came true it would be this one.

CHD is an ugly, evil monster.  It takes the lives of so many far too soon.  It steals away our babies childhood with every minute spent in the hospital, in the lab, at the doctor’s, getting echos and EKGs.  It steals our time with our babies who grow far too quickly.  No snuggles for days and days after birth and surgeries.  CHD is the most common thief, yet it’s the least known.

I hate watching my baby go through the things she has to.  I hate watching as she cries, “No, all over.  No shots!”  This morning she told me, “No worries mama.  I glad go hospital.  Feel better.”  Which, after today’s labs and Dr’s visit turned into a tearful good night and an, “I scared.”  CHD, I HATE you.  I wish it were possible to kill YOU.  So you could never kill our babies or hurt them ever again.

I do not want to wake my baby from her warm crib to put her in the cold car for an hour long trip to the hospital on an empty stomach.  I do not want to find ways to keep her happy while she’s waiting in a Johnny for some stranger to come take her away.  I do not want to silently say my good byes to her again because I know the reality of the procedure, and her condition.  It is just not fair to have to think these things about my beautiful, smart, loving 2 year old.

Since it’s not 11:11, and it’s not my birthday, and I can’t see the stars… Please God, keep Ava happy, make her a bit more healthy, and please keep her here with us for a long, long time.


9 comments October 18, 2010

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Congenital Heart Defects Life with a CHD Tricuspid Atresia Uncategorized

Life with a CHD

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