Self Esteem: When heart kids are concerned

January 8, 2013 mommytoaheartkid


There’s a point to me writing this post now, and I’ll get to it, but hear me out first.

I know that Ava is subject to having low self esteem/problems with her appearance/scar/being teased about her scar.  I am fully prepared to have to work with her on this issue through out her whole life.  I’m ready for it.  As being someone who didn’t grow up having a heck of a lot of self esteem, I am DETERMINED to make a better outcome for my child. When and if the time comes that she is uncomfortable with her scar we’re BOTH putting on bikinis and marching straight to the beach.  I bet my stretch marks get worse looks than her BEAUTIFUL, LIFE AFFIRMING heart scar.

Anyways.  Self esteem.

I just read a story on Yahoo! about Teen Mom star Farrah waxing and plucking THREE YEAR OLD Sohpie’s eyebrows because she had “a unibrow” and Farrah reportedly “felt bad” about it.  That. Is. Disgusting.  What are you teaching your child?  Really.  At the ripe old age of three, she’s going to start picking apart her body image.  She’s going to be self conscious about it now.  Maybe not as of RIGHT NOW, but in the future.  And Farrah herself is not a perfect role model, fixing all of her “flaws.”  She’s just teaching her daughter to hate herself from a very young age.

This is also my problem with “Toddlers in Tiaras.”  I agree that it may boost their self esteem in the beginning.  When they are the cutest, the youngest, and the funniest.  But the littler ones always come, and the older ones are not always going to be the winners.  You’re teaching them VERY YOUNG that they are not the prettiest, the best, the funniest, the smartest, and they will get discouraged by that quickly.

I think it’s cruel.  I do.  Teaching such young kids to have so many problems with themselves. Society and media are going to pound it into their heads soon enough that they are not beautiful, perfect, or worth it.  Why would you start telling them that so young?

Another pet peeve– and a FAQ in my life as a Heart Mom:

“Are you going to get plastic surgery to fix Ava’s scar?”

Point A: Am I going to get surgery to fix AVA’S scar?  Why no, I am not.  It is not my body.

Point B: Ava at this point in time has never known anything different on her body, and we talk about it in a positive way every time she brings it up.

Point C: SHE IS FOUR YEARS OLD!  I am not going to elect to put her under anesthesia AGAIN to try to “fix” a scar that is there because her HEART was repaired, and just confirms that she is a STRONG kid who is very much so ALIVE.

If and when the time comes, and I have failed at promoting a positive self image to my daughter, WE, she and I, will discuss options to help diminish the scar.  BUT, I know some FABULOUS, GORGEOUS ladies with wonderful heart scars who I know would not mind sharing their scars with her, and all of the pluses to having your very own heart scar (HELLO CLEAVAGE!) .

Well, this is my rant.  Disagree with me if you must.  This is my opinion, this is MY blog.  Don’t like it, forget you read it, or make your own blog where you can write all of your own opinions down.  :]  Thanks for respecting my page, as I would certainly respect yours.

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Karin Erskine  |  January 30, 2013 at 9:28 PM

    I need ur motivation I was a single mom to four yearld boy who has hypoplastic right ! Trying to get in to nursing school has been a struggle!! HOw did you do it ???

    • 2. mommytoaheartkid  |  June 19, 2013 at 9:58 PM

      Hi Karin–sorry I’m just seeing this now. That’s how busy I am!! I just make it through one day at a time. :] You can do it!


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